As I look back over the past four and a half months and the extraordinary journey that I have completed, I am so proud of how much I have grown and all that I have learned. In looking for something that would attempt to sum up all that I have done and all that I have became, I found a quote written by Mark Twain. He wrote,
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
This quote embodies everything that this experience has meant to me. Before I took this amazing leap into the unknown, I was timid and soft spoken, permanently a little homesick, and deathly afraid to leave my comfort zone. After flying halfway around the world (literally), and being escorted to my completely empty dorm room by a foreign student who spoke almost no English, I realized I was scared to death. I remember sitting on my bed, no internet, no phone, and no friends. I was alone and I was scared; I had just moved to a new city where I knew almost no one and was about to start at a new school, ten times the size of Saint Mikes, with nearly 20,000 students. I was overwhelmed and I didn't know how to use the trains or the buses. I felt nervous and scared and trapped. I didn't have a car, nor any of the essentials I needed to live. So, I took an adventure on the "green bus" in Wollongong and after a ride that lasted much too long, some terrible Thai food, and a trip to Woolworths, all was right in the world! I had done it; I had solved my first major dilemma! I had achieved both feeding myself and buying all the things necessary to begin my new life at International House(shampoo, toothpaste, clothes hangers, and a much needed box of "goon" ;) of course)!! I had overcome the first obstacle of my semester-long path to independence! And, I'll have you know, I did not stop there! I learned my way around, I traveled, and I experienced so much! I went to a play at the Sydney Opera House, traveled to Sydney, Melbourne, Nimbin, Byron Bay, The Blue Mountains, Cairns, The Gold Coast, I ran the Sydney Herald Half marathon, and the north island of New Zealand. I snorkeled The Great Barrier Reef and I went skydiving on North Wollongong Beach. I did every single thing that I wanted to do and more. But, most importantly, I made friendships that will last a lifetime. These new experiences and lasting friendships also taught me a lot about myself. I learned that I am impatient and I am stubborn. When I set my mind to something, it WILL get done no matter what the cost. Somewhere along the way, in between my always made bed, neatly stacked binders, and aligned shelves, I learned that I am anal. Totally, completely, anal. Thanks to my darling mother I am certain, I am a perfectionist. I have a routine and I stick to it. Same schedule every day. I like to eat the same things, go to the gym at the same time. I am a person of habit and I can't help it. So, I embrace it! I am predictable and I know it. Actually, I love it. What you see, is what you get. I wear my emotions on my shirtsleeve and you always know what I'm thinking. I used to hold back, I was indecisive and did not demand what I wanted. I took my food allergies lightly and accepted less than good service from both restaurants and my school cafeteria. It was like I was always depending on someone else to make change, someone else to advocate for me. Then, I arrived here, all alone. I was the only one who knew what I wanted, what I needed. With this, I learned that I have a voice. I learned to stand up for myself in a respectful and adult way. I learned that if I tell people what I need, they will get it for me. When I learned to communicate, I learned what a helpful tool it can be in every aspect of my life. We must communicate everyday, in relationships, with friends, at school, with parents. Communication allows one person to know what another person is thinking or feeling. Such a simple and necessary thing, yet we do it so rarely that it becomes something that we dread, even avoid. Why is that? Are we afraid of what others think of us, how they feel about us? If we let down that wall, allow others to hear and even see what we think, what we feel, we could be vulnerable. We are scared that we could fail or be rejected. I think this fear is always present, but I have learned in more ways than one, throughout my time here that I would rather communicate, tell others how I feel, what I expect, and what I want, than to hold it all inside and never express my feelings. I can honestly say that I have no regrets about my time spent here. I have put myself out there, I have let my guard down, and I have experienced everything I hoped I would. This amazing adventure has taught me to be fearless,to meet people, to travel, and to love with all my heart. I learned that if you find love, don't ever let it go. I learned that sometimes things are out of my control. I cannot control other people, or the weather, or what happens at home. I cannot minimize distance or turn back time. I am here, now, and I must live in the moment, and experience everything I can. I learned that I love my family more than anything in the whole wide world, and I can't imagine my life without them in it! This journey has made me realize the importance of a lot of little things that I didn't know I appreciated so much before I came here, like my car "Janie," she is my lifeline, my queen sized bed at home, my little (big!) pain in the ass brother, my extended family that luckily live so close to me, and my mom and dad whom I truly adore. They have enabled me to have this amazing experience and they mean so much to me. I now know, that I will always be close enough to have them in my life. I couldn't live without them. I have learned to challenge myself and to expect nothing less than the best. As I begin to look to the future, this journey has been a stepping stone for the rest of my life. I have new goals for my career and dreams of traveling. I now know that I am able and strong and capable of great things. I've overcome so many obstacles to complete this experience and I am so proud of myself and everything that I have accomplished. This will be my final post, as I only have 3 short days left in Australia. I have enjoyed writing this blog so much and I look forward to reading back through all of my posts and reliving this journey many more times. So, to all the wonderful people I have met this semester, goodbye for now. And for all my family and friends at home, I will see you soon! Thanks to everyone for reading my blog and for all your support. <3 -Britt
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